Friday, July 20, 2012

The ugly truth about fast draft

This is not the post where I reveal that Candace Havens is a faker mcgee who claims to write books in ridiculously short time frames, but actually has a dozen trained writer monkeys who type out her books for her.

But as a side note: if you have a good lead on where I could get me one of those trained writer monkeys just leave a comment in the box.

As far as I know, Candace really is the super maven we all know her to be. The true secret to her success  is a highly complicated, top secret astrophysics equation: Your butt + Chair = novel. (Don't tell her I spilled the beans)

So now that my first draft is done (an not nearly as craptastic as I thought it would be), I thought I'd share a bit of the darker side of FastDraft. Let's call them the unfortunate side effects that no one warned me about.

1. Your house looks like twenty fraternity guys lives there.
I am embarrassed by this picture, but sometimes the truth hurts. Doing dishes became a secondary function, way down on the list under writing, eating and sleeping. Immediately after taking this picture I had to stop everything and clean because looking at it made me feel dirty.


My kitchen during fast draft
2.You're family may feel a little neglected.
Have you seen my mommy?
Before anyone calls child protective services, I did not put my daughter in the closet. But when I looked up from my computer and realized she was no longer in front of me, I went looking for her. This is how I found her. Permanent damage will have to be assessed at a later date.

3. Wine calories
During the ten days I was drafting I went through two bottles of wine. I realize that doesn't sound like much to some, but I'm not much of a drinker. Two bottles in less than two weeks would normally mean time to make my reservation at the Betty Ford. My scale does not appreciate my indulgence.
Looks like there's at least one glass left in that bottle!


So there were some drawbacks to submersing myself in a manuscript, but the end product (a shiny new first draft) was well worth it!

Anyone else gone through a FastDraft? Any side effects you weren't expecting?

11 comments:

  1. Love this ending post. You've inspired me to plunge into a fast draft. I've been outlining my current YA novel for like forever. Time to finish that and just draft!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Go for it! It was definitely worth the dirty kitchen.

      Delete
  2. Question what are the FastDraft rules?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Each person sets their own goals, but the standard is 5000/day for two weeks.

      Delete
  3. LOL!! Yeah, writing in general is hazardous to housework. I've been holed up revising and my kitchen looked much the same as yours. I cleaned it up yesterday because I finally couldn't stand it anymore. :)

    I don't know of any trained writer monkeys, but if anyone knows of any trained dish-washing monkeys, I'd be all over that. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yeah, dish-washing or laundry folding monkeys. Both of them are welcome in my house.

      Delete
  4. LOL. Yes, my house takes a beating when I fast draft!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I hate housecleaning even when I'm not doing FastDraft. Since I can't find any trained monkeys to do my writing, much less my housework, I'm training my kids to do the cleaning. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've got another few years before the kiddos are trained for housework. We're still mastering putting toys away. :)

      Delete
  6. What do you mean your kitchen made you feel dirty? Shoot - my house regularly looks like that. :P
    I'm glad your fast draft worked out for you. I tried it and my plot veered off in the wrong direction, and I got halfway through (30k) before realizing it was unsalvageable.
    I really enjoyed your post, and if you find the trained-monkey store, let us in on it...

    ReplyDelete

Share the love, man...